


The Years Between Us

by inkedstarlight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marauders' Era, Multi, Peter Doesn't Betray James and Lily, Post-Hogwarts, Sexual Content, Sirius/Remus - Freeform, Smut, first wizarding war, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-13 18:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10519590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkedstarlight/pseuds/inkedstarlight
Summary: Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were in love in Hogwarts... but everything changed after one particular day. Full of regrets and hatred, the two men meet again four years later. An epic love story full of angst, fluff, and smut with a side of Jily and other characters.





	1. Empty Memories

Remus Lupin woke abruptly, tangled in his sweat-stained sheets. His eyes were squeezed shut, as if trying to ward off ghosts from the past – afraid that if he opened them, it wouldn’t be a dream anymore. He slowly opened them and looked around the nearly empty room. Remus checked the clock beside his bed and rubbed his hands across his face. Five o’clock in the morning.

He slid to the side of his bed and put his face into his hands.

_It wasn’t real. It was just a dream. It’s not real._

Except it _was_ real. The nightmares of the torturous full moon were real. The terrors of fighting in the war were real. And the man with piercing eyes and midnight hair... 

After a few moments of deep breathing, he picked himself up along with his wand and shuffled past the half empty boxes lying on the floor and to the kitchen. He mundanely made his black coffee, picked up the Daily Prophet, and sat on the chair next to the kitchen table.

Remus scanned the newspaper and saw the usual: “Death Eaters at Large” and “Ministry of Magic Crumbling”. Or if he wanted to read ignorant conspiracy theories, he could pick up Rita Skeeter’s “Dumbledore’s Secret Dark Mark”.

They were in the middle of a war. An endless, bloody war that had begun in 1970. Voldemort was on the rise with his army of Dark wizards. Terrorizing entire counties in Britain, the country was in panic as Muggle-borns and non-wizards alike were killed. They were ruthless, having no pity on innocent lives. Remus had watched children and their families killed in front of his own eyes. And the only people willing to take action were the Order. They were going from city to city, gathering entail on the Death Eater’s next moves, attempting to stop blood from drowning the entire country.

The Ministry, on the other hand, was another issue. They had trouble grasping the fact that this was _war_ , for Merlin's sake, not some passing rebellion that would vanish in a few months with a flick of their wands.

Letting out a sigh, Remus folded open the newspaper and began reading, praying not to see any familiar names in the obituary section.

By the time he had finished his silent morning routine of drinking too much coffee and reading the news, it was ten of seven. Lily had told him to get there around nine o’clock. It looked like he’d be early.

Though he dreaded it, he knew he would have to finish packing his things today in preparation to finally leave this tiny flat. His best friend, Lily, had finally convinced him to move to Godric’s Hollow after months of pestering. It was closer to the Order headquarters; to James, Lily, and their son, Harry. Remus knew he had been a horrible friend and nonexistent godfather to the most precious thing on the Earth. He had thought that buying a house farther away would solve his problems, but he was wrong.

He was living in the outskirts of Surrey now, hours away from his friends from Hogwarts. It was an isolated town full of Muggles. Remus moved here right after graduating from school. He had been looking for a new start; a blank slate. He now lived with regret and an emptiness that could never be filled again.

He looked away from the hateful stranger staring back at him and at the room before him. Looking around at the mess, he sighed and waved his wand.

_“Pack.”_

Everything lifted into the air and began to clean itself up. His wrinkled clothes sitting on the bottom of his closet and his tangled sheets folded themselves and floated orderly into his suitcase. Toiletries from the bathroom danced across the room. His other possessions arranged themselves into the two open cardboard boxes. And finally the dozens of unfinished letters threw themselves into the nearly full garbage can.

He looked around the room for any missing belongings. When he found it to be empty, he sighed and was about to leave when a wriggling photograph caught his eye. It was stuck underneath the leg of his bed, trying to get into a box. He walked over with confusion and picked it up. He turned it around to see a forgotten memory unfold before him. His eyes widened with pain.

It was a picture of two boys ice skating. One of them was trying hard not to fall while the other was laughing at his attempt. The taller of the two slipped, but the boy with long dark hair caught him mid-fall. You could see them smiling at one another as the dark haired boy dipped the other and kissed him.

Remus remembered that day like any other, skating on the Black Lake until their teeth chattered and their mittens were soaked through. He remembered the countless tumbles he took and the equally large number of times that boy had to pull him up. He could hear the laughter of the other boy like a lullaby in his mind; his bright smiling, lingering gaze, strong arms…

Tears blurred Remus’s vision as he watched the photograph replay itself again and again until he scrambled to his knees and looked under his bed, desperately hoping to find more. More memories to remind him of the place – the person – that was once home; to remind him of when he was happy –

There was nothing. Lily had taken the rest when she caught him trying to throw the old letters, chocolates, and photographs away. They were gone.

He stayed there on his hands and knees as a tear ran down his cheek. He allowed himself a second before he pulled himself off the dusty floor.

Dejectedly wheeling his suitcase into the living room along with the rest of his things, he stopped in front of the door. Remus looked around his empty flat. With a sad realization, he thought to himself, _it looks like I was never even there._

And before he could take a moment to pity himself, he disapparated on the spot.


	2. A Single Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black stopped dead as he saw who was in the next room.  
> Stormy, grey eyes met cold, black ones as the past collided with the present.  
> Time stopped.  
> No one dared to move as the two men stared at each other, hatred teeming at the edges of their expressions.  
> Tension crackled in the air.  
> “Leave.” Sirius seethed.

Lily Evans Potter was feeding her son when a crack sounded in her kitchen. She whirled around, her wand at the ready in one hand and a spoon of mashed peaches in the other, to see a stranger standing before her.

A haggard man with empty grey eyes, purple bruises shadowing them stood in the middle of her kitchen. His cheekbones and collarbones alike jutted out like razor blades. Dark, shabby clothes hung from his skinny body, contrasting to his pale tone. He held himself up in a manner of self consciousness and exhaustion. Lily was seconds away from hexing him when he gave a half smile and his entire appearance changed into a familiar face.

She dropped her wand with a sigh of relief.

“Remus, you scared the shit out of me! We weren’t expecting you for two more hours.”

“Sorry, Lils, I thought it would be easier –”

“DID YOU JUST SWEAR IN FRONT OF HARRY –”

“Shut up, James! Remus just arrived.”

“– WHEN YOU’VE BEEN CONSTANTLY BUGGING ME ABOUT DOING THAT SAME THING FOR WEEKS –”

James Potter appeared from the hallway, a rag over one shoulder and a stuffed animal in tow. One eyebrow was quirked in annoyance as he stared at his wife, and he looked about ready to throw the stuffed deer at her head. Lily met his glare with defiance, hands on her hips, almost daring him to give into those childish thoughts. They stood off for a few moments and when Remus realized neither one of them was backing down anytime soon, he decided to clear his throat and end their ridiculous staring contest. James glanced over at Remus with a look of surprise.

“Oi! Remus, when’d you get here?”

“Just now,” he replied with a grin. “Trouble in paradise?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “James Fleamont Potter, I am going to kill you one of these days.”

James ignored this comment, used to that sort of treatment from his wife, and clapped Remus on the back.

“How are you, mate? We haven’t seen you in…what’s it been? Four months?”

“Speak for yourself,” Lily murmured. James glared at her.

Remus, however, looked down in shame. He hadn’t stayed in touch as much as he’d promised after James’s twenty-second birthday. It had been a chaotic and equally horrifying night because of his actions, which ultimately ruined the entire party that Lily had spent months planning. He had felt horrible after running out on all his friends and couldn’t bear facing James, so he had brilliantly decided to avoid him, even months after the incident. After all, James had to see his other friend too…

Ever since then, James and Lily had been walking on eggshells around him.

“Yeah, sorry about that, Prongs. That whole night, really.”

James looked at him with understanding. “Don’t worry. I’ve already forgotten about it,” he said with his usual easiness.

Lily, on the other hand, was looking closely at Remus.

“You look so skinny. Have you been eating properly?”

“I’ve been eating just fine, Lil.”

“Hm, I don’t believe that. Let me whip you something up.”

“Lily, really, you don’t need to do that –”

“Oh, don’t make a fuss, Remus. We just had pancakes; come sit down.”

Lily walked to the counter and pulled a stack of pancakes from the oven as James and Remus sat at the kitchen table. James picked Harry up from his high chair and put him on Remus’s lap.

“Say hi to your godfather, Harry.”

“Uncy Moons!” Harry clapped his hands with an excited laugh.

For the first time in months, Remus felt a burst of happiness inside himself over this little goofball. James watched his son with a look of pride.

“It’s his birthday tomorrow,” Lily came over with the stack of pancakes drenched in maple syrup. “He’ll be two years old. Can you believe it?”

“That’s right! July 31st…”

“We’re having a little get together tonight. You should come, mate. It starts at seven o’clock.”

“James, it’s his first day moving in. I don’t think he wants to go to a party…”

James gave Lily a strange look, as if trying to silently have a conversation with her. She inconspicuously shook her head back.

But Remus hadn’t noticed this exchange. His mind was swirling with guilt, not being able to stand the thought of disappointing his friends again, or his godson. “Nonsense. Of course I’ll come tonight. Anything I need to bring?”

The three of them caught up over a hearty breakfast. After they finished tea, Lily and James waved him out of the house. She had insisted that he get settled before the party.

Remus walked down the cobbled road to the house diagonal from his friends’ with his baggage in tow. The cottage was on the smaller side, but just as elegant as the rest. It was light brown with dark panels running up and down the sides. The windows were stained and had a vintage look to them. Though it was just a one floor house, it would be plenty of space. He took a deep breath and opened the wooden door. He was home.

 

*                    *                    *

 

It was five to seven in Godric’s Hollow when a distant rumbling noise was heard. It was emanating from a small dot in the sky that was getting closer and closer. The object grew larger as it descended onto the narrow street. It was a run down, flying motorcycle straddled by a man clad in black. His face was obscured by a helmet, but the rider seemed pleased with himself, looking over his bike with what seemed to be a smug expression as he landed smoothly. He parked the motorcycle in front of a mailbox with a balloon hanging from it. The mysterious man took off the helmet to reveal a long mess of tangled, raven hair framing his face. He walked confidently to the house with a small, pink gift in his hand and entered without knocking.

Meanwhile, Lily and James Potter were talking heatedly in the living room.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this, James.”

“Don’t worry, Evans. I have a plan.”

“You call this a plan? We’re manipulating our closest friends!”

“We’re just… giving them the push they’ve needed. It’s been years since they’ve actually talked. It’s past time for this.”

Their door slammed shut and heavy footsteps made their way into the living room. The stranger from the motorcycle came into view.

“Sirius!” Lily squealed as she ran over to hug him.

The man’s eyes widened in surprise as a pair of pale, long arms wrapped around his broad chest. She laughed when the hug was returned with an equal amount of enthusiasm.

“Haven’t gotten this kind of reception in a while,” Sirius Black smiled. Lily beamed back at him, unusually happy. “I know, it’s just so good to see you. We haven’t gotten together since…” She awkwardly cut herself off.

A dark cloud came over Sirius’s expression as he took a step back. He quickly covered it up with a smirk as he greeted James. They shook hands and clapped each other on the back in a manly hug.

“Ready to party like we did in seventh year, mate?”

“Pads, it’s my son’s second birthday. We are not getting wasted and riding the Giant Squid at ungodly hours of the morning.”

They laughed at the memory, but were quickly interrupted by the doorbell as people began to arrive. Frank and Alice Longbottom were the first to turn up, hand in hand, at seven on the dot. After them, the Prewett twins arrived with a bundle of colorful balloons. Then came Marlene McKinnon, her girlfriend Dorcas, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius’s brother Regulus, Sturgis Podmore, and other members of the Order. They streamed in with rambunctious chatter, crowding baby Harry as they cooed birthday wishes at the delighted boy.

The house was filled with laughter and warmth as everyone got settled in. Fabian and Gideon had immediately opened up a bottle of whiskey and had begun a drinking game with Sirius. Regulus and a few others were in the kitchen. James was telling his friends an animated story about Harry’s first time on the toy broom, and Alice and Lily were chatting in the living room. It was barely fifteen minutes into the night when the door opened and Remus stepped inside.

“Remus!” Alice exclaimed pleasantly.

Lily looked up to see Remus tentatively closing the door behind him, a bottle of red wine in hand. He smiled happily at the sight of an old friend.

“Sorry I’m late; it took me a while to finish unpacking.”

It was a lie. Unpacking the three boxes Remus owned took an hour. After he finished, Remus had explored the neighboring town – mainly the library – out of curiosity. He stayed out until noon, when he returned to the Hollow and debated over whether he should call off going to the party tonight. He’d went over the list of possible guests in his head hundreds of times, always crossing out the possibility of _him_ being there. James and Lily would know to only invite one of them. He trusted that thought and anxiously awaited the time of seven o’clock.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Lily said distractedly, panic in her eyes. “Just excuse me for one minute.” She got up and hurried to the kitchen where the loud voices were coming from.

Remus shrugged off her odd behavior and walked toward Alice, enveloping her tiny frame in a hug.

“It’s great to see you, Alice. How’ve you been?” He pulled back and looked at her.

“I’ve been just fine. But how are you? I haven’t seen you in so long,” she replied.

Before Remus could reply, a voice rang out and interrupted them.

“Well, if my eyes don’t deceive me… Remus Lupin, is that really you?”

Remus turned on the spot to see Regulus Black standing in the entrance of the living room, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was one of anger but something more… relief?

Remus’s head was whirling.

_No._

This couldn’t be happening.

If Regulus was here…

_So was he._

“Regulus, what are you – I don’t understand…” He trailed off as another voice came from the kitchen.

“Reg!”

“No, Sirius, don’t go in there!” Lily’s voice shouted.

“Come back, it’s your turn to –”

Sirius Black stopped dead as he saw who was in the next room.

Stormy, grey eyes met cold, black ones as the past collided with the present.

Time stopped.

No one dared to move as the two men stared at each other, hatred teeming at the edges of their expressions.

Tension crackled in the air.

“Leave.” Sirius seethed.

“Sirius, what are you –”

“Shut the fuck up, Lily. Leave. Right now.”

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that!” James said angrily. “You don’t have to do this.”

Sirius took a menacing step toward Remus. Everyone in the kitchen had come out after hearing the commotion and watched, terrified.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Remus stood his ground with his fists clenched tightly. “You leave right now since you’re such a goddamn coward.”

The onlookers held their breath. They were only able to wait and watch as their friends, two _enemies_ , confronted one another for the first time in years.

Sirius’s jaw ticked and he let out a bitter laugh. Lily bit her lip anxiously.

“That’s the best you’ve got? After four years?” Sirius shook his head with disgust. “And to think, I actually fucked you.”

Remus exploded.

He charged toward Sirius with a roar.

“REMUS, NO!”

Remus was a finger breadth away from tearing Sirius down, but before he could reach him, James grabbed Remus from behind. He yelled at James to let him go, pure rage flowing through every vein in his body. James wouldn’t let go as he held him back. Sirius laughed without humor at the sight of them.

Sirius took a bold step forward until their faces were just inches apart.

“Sirius,” James warned from behind Remus.

Sirius didn’t acknowledge him as he tilted Remus’s chin with a finger. Remus refused to look at him, but the small touch burned his skin and irrevocably branded it with the feeling of _him_.

“You haven’t changed at all. You’re still nothing but a selfish arsehole.” A sneer.

Remus’s head hung down as he breathed hard. His chest burned with the struggle of remembering to _breathe._ Tears blurred his vision and he finally looked up.

Sirius’s expression sobered when he saw Remus’s eyes full of heartbreak. Both of their masks subconsciously crumbled away. Sirius wanted to hold him, to love him, if it was for just one goddamn moment. One moment of oblivion and vulnerability… only to be wrapped in the deceit of their past. His hands yearned to touch him, to feel the warmth – the life – underneath his fingertips. Remus heard it all as if Sirius were whispering it down an unbreakable tether between them. For a second, they saw each other for who they truly were. Friends. Lovers. Soulmates.

But that tether broke.

Before another word could be said, before he could break the silence of four years, Remus pushed himself out of James’s arms. He ran away from the past he had so desperately hid from. He ran past his friends, all of whom called his name. All except Sirius, who was left standing there with a dark guilt and loss reflected on his face.

Remus pushed through the door and into the quiet night. The bitter air sucked the air out of his lungs as he ran from the hold of that dark man.

He stopped in the middle of the empty street and let out a sob of pain. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he blindly made his way back to his house. He stumbled onto his porch steps, sitting down to face the night laid bare before him. The ink sky was nearly black, save for the crown of stars and presence of the glowing orb. Faint light reflected off his wet eyes as he looked upward.

It was nearly a full moon.

And as if he were watching a movie, memories flooded back like a knife to the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter! The soonest I'll be updating again will be next Sunday (the 16th) because I'll be on spring vacation. But I promise I'll be writing plenty on the eight hour flight. Kudos and comments are always appreciated (:


	3. Back to the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m James Fleamont Potter. I want in on these pranks.”

  **September 1 st, 1971**

“Hey, watch it!”

Remus was pushed by a girl who raced past him after a black and white kneazle that was streaking past the narrow corridor. She looked back at him with a quick glance. “Sorry!”

Remus had stumbled over his own feet, but quickly recovered. He clutched his book to his chest and leaned against the wall to steady himself. He let out a breath. To be fair, he had been standing in the middle of the hallway like the clueless first year he was. He had been trying to find an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, but they were all full of upperclassman with intimidating sneers and questionable morals. The compartments were filling up quickly and he needed to find one, but he could sense he was almost at the back of the train.

He peered into one of the last few compartments. Inside sat two boys: one with round glasses and untidy hair, and one with a nervous look on his face. They looked about his age.

_Just be yourself, Remus._

His mom’s words from earlier this morning echoed in his mind. Ever since Remus had gotten the acceptance letter for Hogwarts, he had anxiously thought about September first and what it would bring.

The last time Remus had left his house that resided in the tiny village just outside of Cardiff where his mum grew up. He had lived most of his life sequestered in his rooms per his parent’s demands. Remus knew they wanted to help, but he was sick – and quite frankly, _lonely_ – of living in a drab, four walled room with nothing to do. He read for most of his days but as much as he loved to immerse himself in a book, he wished to be a normal kid – one with the ability to go outside whenever they wished without fear of what day of the month it was.

After weeks of pleading with his mum (his dad spent most of his days at the pub every since That Night), she finally granted him the permission to go to Hogwarts.

He regretted it the minute he stepped onto the train.

People already looked at his hand-me-down robes and pale, scarred face with funny looks. He had never had to make friends before. It was an entirely new world; a crowded, loud place.

Remus didn’t like it. He was scared.

He opened the door a little wider and cleared his throat.

_Please let them like me._

“Excuse me, but is there room for one more in here?” he asked tentatively.

The boy with the glasses looked up at him with bright eyes. He grinned.

“Come on in.”

Remus smiled appreciatively and sat across from him in the seat closest to the door.

“I’m James Potter,” he introduced himself enthusiastically, his white teeth contrasting shockingly against his dark skin. “Is this your first year at Hogwarts too?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m Remus Lupin.”

“I’m Peter Pettigrew,” piped up the boy next to him in a mouse-like manner.

“Nice to meet you –”

“Bloody hell, finally!”

The three of them looked at the owner of the exasperated voice that had interrupted them.

Standing in the doorway of the compartment stood a boy with dark black hair and a triumphant smile. He looked winded; probably from searching every compartment for a seat, Remus suspected. His hair resembled the other boy’s in the sense that it was extremely unkempt.

“This is the only place with empty seats; the rest are full,” he explained at their baffled expressions, looking around at them with glittering eyes. His eyes stuck on Remus a moment longer than the rest, and he _winked_ at the scrawny boy.

Remus blushed and looked downward at the book in his hand.

“I’m Sirius Orion Black.”

Remus inwardly laughed at his introduction. He spoke as if he were royalty.

“ _Black?_ You mean to say your family is made up of all those Slytherin purebloods that go about terrorizing Muggle-borns? My dad warned me about you,” James inquired with defiance.

“I don’t blame him.” James narrowed his eyes at this, but Sirius quickly continued. “But I don’t care if you’re a pureblood or not. I’m nothing like them.”

 _He sounds more so like he’s trying to convince himself,_ Remus thought as he pretended to read. Curiosity, however, had him listening intently. He wondered why the Black family had such a reputation.

Before Remus could make a fool of himself and asked, Peter piped up. “What’s wrong with the Black family?”

James turned to him. “The Blacks are bullies. Every single generation is put in Slytherin, the House for evil witches and wizards. They want to kill people who are Muggles or wizards that come from Muggle families. The Blacks are famous in the Wizarding World for doing just that.”

James sized up Sirius as he said all of this.

“I-I’m not like them,” Sirius tried again. His arrogant front gone, Remus saw fear in his eyes.

“What makes you different then? A Black is a Black. It’s in your blood.”

Sirius looked down with shame, taking the harsh beating of James’s words. Remus almost felt bad for the boy but his family… they sounded horrible. Prejudiced and violent and _horrible._

 “I have Muggle-born friends back home,” he began listing off. “I spent the entire summer – my entire life, really – pranking my cousins in hopes of finally running them out of the country. I hid a dungbomb in my other cousin’s closet and kept replenishing them after they kept going off. Her room stank for months until my parents figured out who the culprit was. They nearly disowned me one year for putting a bobby pin, which was incidentally a Portkey, in my other cousin’s nest of hair.”

James listened intently and seemed to think him good enough as he grinned with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “I’m James Fleamont Potter. I want in on these pranks.”

They shook hands and Sirius sat down across from Remus.

They hit it off right away as they began scheming of potential ways to mess with Sirius’s cousins. Remus was keeping his head down, but he couldn’t help but listen to their conversation.

“Then there’s this one cousin: Bellatrix. She’s also a first year and she’s downright evil. My brother once told me a snake bit her, and _it_ died.” James shuddered at the thought.

“That’s horrid. What do you propose we do?” James asked.

“Well, I’ve heard about these little lions – kneazles – that can detect mistrustful and prejudiced people. And once they do,” he cackled mischievously, “darling Bella will be in for quite a surprise.”

The hatred in Sirius’s voice was repulsive, and for his own _family._ Remus couldn’t keep quiet any longer as the Black continued to scheme. He shut his book closed. “You can’t be serious.”

Sirius, who hadn’t looked at Remus once since winking at him, swiveled his head around.

“But I am Sirius. Or were you too immersed in that Encyclopedia to notice?”

Mouth agape, Remus ran over his words and mentally hit his own forehead for his complete idiocy.

“It’s not…” Remus sputtered, his cheeks reddening. Sirius’s eyes swam with mirth at the boy’s exasperation. “I don’t mean your name. It’s our first day and you already want to wreck havoc on not only your cousin, but virtually the entire Slytherin House. You honestly think you could get away with that? Miraculously find a kneazle, sneak out of the Great Feast, and get into the common room – how?”

Sirius and James exchanged a look. A look that said: _we have a snitch in our hands._

“It’s none of your business if you plan on ratting us out.”

_They don’t like you. Why would they? You shouldn’t have said anything._

Remus began to panic. He was such an idiot – thinking he could pretend he was like them. He wasn’t – he was _different._ He should just call his parents, tell them it wouldn’t work, and remain at home to be schooled by his mum. She’d understand. She would tell him that it’s okay; that he didn’t need to make any friends. She was the only friend he’d ever had – that he’d ever need.

 _You have to be_ brave, _Remus._

His mum’s voice filtrated into his head again.

_Be yourself. That’s all you can be – all you ever should be._

He listened to the soothing voice and took a deep breath.

“I-I don’t plan on it… ratting you out, that is,” he added hastily. “All I’m saying is you should be prepared to face the consequences.”

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but a redheaded girl appeared in the doorway of the compartment and cut him off.

“Have you seen Atticus?” she looked at each boy, breathless. Long hair ran down her back in a frizzy mess. Her robes were two sizes too big. Round, green eyes peered around the tiny compartment.

They all stared back at her, eyes wide and speechless.

“Well?” she pressed after nothing was said.

“My name’s James Potter,” James smirked lazily at her. “What’s yours?”

“I didn’t come in here for an introduction,” she told him. His jaw snapped open and Sirius and Peter were having trouble containing their giggles. Even Remus was smiling slightly. But none of them replied to her question. She sighed. “Have you seen an angry looking black cat with pointed ears and white spots?”

Remus’s head snapped up from his book and he remembered that girl’s kneazle that nearly made him lose his footing just a few minutes ago in the corridor.

“I have,” he spoke up quietly. The girl’s gaze went to the voice and she smiled gratefully. Her entire face became more pleasant when she did so. “You mean the kneazle?”

“Oh thank the Lord,” she moaned. “Someone who knows what a kneazle is. Where is he?”

He nearly laughed at Sirius’s perplexed face. “I think a girl caught him running around the train. She was blonde and small…” he described lamely.

 “Alice!” the redhead breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much for your help. I’ve asked up and down the train. Oh! I’m Lily Evans. And you are?”

“Remus Lupin,” he introduced himself. She grinned warmly.

“Well, Remus Lupin, I hope to see you soon.” James cleared his throat and gave a pathetic head nod at her. Lily sighed. “Same to you, Potter.”

And with that, she climbed out.

Remus was the first to break the silence.

“You might want to turn to page 34 if you’re looking for more information on kneazles,” he said, sliding over his copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ across the table to a confused Sirius and James. “They actually descend from the feline species,” he added embarrassingly, unable to control himself from correcting Sirius’s prior description.

James picked it up and leafed through the pages, finding the one about the origin and evolution of kneazles. Sirius, who was looking over James’s shoulder at the book, looked at Remus with a curious excitement. He leaned over the table between them and extended his hand to Remus’s.

“Welcome aboard, mate.”

 

*                      *                      *

 

“SLYTHERIN!”

Bellatrix Black hopped off the stool and walked off to the Slytherin table with a confident smirk. They greeted her with high fives and whoops.

The Sorting had just begun. After gliding through the murky surface of the lake with the burly man whose name was now forgotten, all of the first years had been rounded up by a stern professor by the name of Minerva McGonagall. He couldn’t be sure, but Remus could have sworn that she had smiled at him before leading them into the room that they were sitting at the front of now: The Great Hall.

 Remus, previously being enchanted by the enormity of the castle and the Great Hall’s magic, was now sweating profusely in the midst of all the anxious first years, all awaiting to be sorted. Another shout, this time Professor McGonagall’s, interrupted his thoughts.

“Black, Sirius!”

Remus watched as the boy from the train walked up to the front. The Slytherin table was already cheering for him.

The hat was placed on his head.

Sirius’s face went pale as the hat began to mutter some incoherent words into his ear. Nearly everyone in the Great Hall leaned closer, as if trying to hear what it was telling him. Even Headmaster Dumbledore was resting his elbows on the table in front of him, eyes twinkling with curiousity.

Another minute passed.

And finally, as if having some sort of revelation, the Sorting Hat broke the silence.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Shocked gasps rang out, most of them from the Slytherins. Remus was surprised himself. Sirius slid off the stool. The first years parted like the Red Sea as he walked through. Tentatively approaching the Gryffindor table, they welcomed him with warm smiles and claps on his back. Like an old friend.

And since the first time that Remus had met him, Sirius smiled.

Remus watched as McGonagall went down the list, the Hat spending no more than a minute on any other student, past Lily Evans (Gryffindor) and her friend who owned the kneazle, Alice Fortescue (another Gryffindor) down to the L’s.

“Lupin, Remus.”

He was shaking. Cold sweat ran down his body as he felt the hot burn of everyone’s stare on the back of his head.

What if the Sorting Hat told him to go home?

What if it told everyone that he was a werewolf?

What if Dumbledore decided to stop his Sorting?

Clenching and unclenching his fists, Remus sat on the stool. Before he could look down to avoid making any eye contact, Sirius’s small smile caught his gaze. It in some way gave him the courage to keep his chin up.

He felt the cotton material of the hat as it was placed on his head.

“Ah, yes, I was wondering when you would arrive,” it whispered in his ear. “I have long awaited your sorting, Remus Lupin.”

He shut his eyes closed. Why did he do this?

“So much knowledge in your mind… Kindness in your heart too. A selfless aura surrounds you, Remus.”

His heart beat faster and faster and faster.

“But what’s that?” Remus’s chest rose up and down in shallow breaths. Something in his mind was telling him to _run and hide_ but he kept his shoulders straight and continued to breathe in and out. “I see courage in you. Courage that you have not discovered yet. Loyalty for those whom you love most dearly.”

What felt like an eternity passed. The hat stayed quiet in his ear, speaking up only to mutter something to itself.

_Not brave enough._

“Ah, my friend, but the bravery is that of standing up in the midst of your fears and not falling prey to those nightmares.”

With that wisdom that Remus would hold with him forever, the Sorting Hat bellowed, “GRYFFINDOR!”

Deafening cheers sounded from the Gryffindor House – _his_ house. Unable to stop his smile, Remus laughed all the way to his new table. Older students shook his hand, introducing themselves with loud voices and strong handshakes.

He sat down next to Sirius, Lily and Alice diagonal from him.

“Remus! I’m so glad we’re in the same house,” Lily said to him. She turned to her friend. “And this is Alice. I believe you two met briefly on the train.”

Remus gave them both a small wave. “You’ve found your kneazle I assume?”

“I did – and I’m so sorry I practically ran you over in the process.”

“Truce?”

“Truce.” She giggled.

Sirius leaned over to him after the girls continued their conversation with a fifth year. “Looks like we’re going to have to get along after all.”

“Doubtful.” Remus smiled softly.

Both of the boys looked down at their laps, grinning to themselves.

And they only looked up when another one of their friends went up.

“Potter, James.”

He walked confidently to the stool, facing out to the four long tables.

Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head. It needed no time at all.

“GRYFFINDOR!” it bellowed.

Sirius stood up, whistling loudly for his new friend. James bounded over to him and sat down in the seat across from Lily. Remus watched as he and Lily made eye contact. He grinned. She rolled her eyes.

Finishing the alphabetical list, there was a variety of sorting and Remus enjoyed the way that each house welcomed a new member. The Gryffindors stood up for every person, whistling loudly with their fingers in their mouths and boasting proudly. The Ravenclaws spoke excitedly amongst themselves when a first year came along, instantly striking up a conversation full of laughter. The Slytherins stomped their feet, smirking as if they’d won something. And lastly, the Hufflepuffs stood atop their benches and clapped the loudest with bright smiles.

There was only way for Remus to describe it.

Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait! I'm coming down to the last sprint of school and teachers are cramming with an unnecessary shitload of work. I promise I'll update more in June, but I'll definitely be writing more frequently now. Enjoy!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! The next ones will be longer - I promise. This fic is a work in progress. So far, I have written a few chapters that I'll upload soon. This is the first chapter in one of many (:  
> (Sorry for the awkward "pack" charm. I looked it up, and it's legitimate. It sounded kind of strange, but to be fair, it's a pretty wicked spell!)


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